If there’s a theme for the year, it could be described as a year of exploration for me, covering all aspects: physical, mental, emotional, financial, and beyond.
Job
Zefhub
At the year’s start, I returned to Singapore and joined Zefhub, where I worked with Ulf, the most influential person and mentor in my tech career. He introduced me to new perspectives on software—some quite controversial—bringing a breath of fresh air to my plateauing career. Ulf is also exceptionally intelligent; if anyone among my connections has the potential for a Nobel Prize, it’s him.
Unfortunately, the journey was short-lived as the company closed due to the Silicon Valley Bank (SVB) shakeup in March. There I was, jobless again. When life throws hammers at you, they come in multiples.
The Search
Facing significant financial pressure due to a year-long rental commitment in Singapore, I remained selective, unwilling to rush into any job if I sensed red flags. I sought a role that either resonated with my passion and offered learning opportunities or provided substantial compensation. I was prepared to exhaust my savings.
The search extended another four months, during which I undertook a contract job with BentoML, an open-source library I’d previously used at Shopback, to assist with documentation for their upcoming cloud product.
By the end of July, I had several offers, each with its advantages and disadvantages. Notably, all offers came through referrals or connections.
Deciding on an offer was incredibly challenging, especially as it reawakened past emotional traumas. I consulted many for advice, notably Ulf, Yann, Robert (from Cardano!) and Sze Jin, who offered valuable perspectives. I’m grateful to everyone for their support.
Ultimately, I employed the Regret Minimization Framework, devised by Jeff Bezos, asking myself, “Would I regret X if I made Y decision in two years?” The answers weren’t straightforward. I was on the verge of accepting other offers, but I chose BentoML, recognizing a deep-seated fear of missing out on this opportunity with a “Silicon Valley” startup, however vain that may seem.
BentoML
Here, the team is experienced and genuinely kind. For the first time, I felt like a small fish in a big pond. The role is fully remote, leaving me yet to meet my colleagues in person—they might as well be figments of my imagination. The flexibility to work from anywhere is a plus, though the lack of social interaction and real-life collaboration sometimes weighs heavily on me, leading to doubts about my decision.
Nevertheless, I’m still here, approaching my first anniversary with the company, with no regrets about my decision.
Places Visited
Indeed, it was a year of exploration. I traveled to numerous places, experiencing what many would call adventures.
Sydney, Melbourne, New Zealand (End of 2022)
Cape Town, South Africa
Boracay, Philippines
Hanoi, Vietnam
Kyoto & Osaka, Japan
Nusa Penida, Indonesia
New Connections Made
Zefhub colleagues
Cape Town host family
Zealous Flare girls
Nick and Tess!
Dragonboat Peeps
Suet and Kim :)
New Skills Attempted/Learned
- Dragonboating
- Swimming
- And subsequently, scuba diving!
- Cooking
- Pop song piano improvisation
- Japanese?
Learning When to Give Yourself Some Slack
Mid-year, I found myself pushing too hard. Every activity I did was aimed at self-improvement, whether it was watching educational videos, exercising, or learning new skills. Feeling inadequate due to multiple failures and unemployment, I felt a constant need to better myself (though the metrics of what is better were unclear).
One day, I decided to ease up on myself. I began allowing myself to enjoy the little things again, such as playing games and consuming entertainment content.
This adjustment alleviated some tension, providing me the space to reflect more freely and enjoy activities without self-judgment.
Staying in the Present — Less Rumination
As cliché as it may sound, I never truly grasped what living in the present meant. Jay Shetty’s perspective shed light on this for me: “If you are constantly ruminating about the past and thinking about the future, you’re not actually paying attention to what’s happening now. And, in a sense, you’re wasting your real life away because only the present is real; everything else is imagination.” This insight helped me understand what living in the present truly means. I also wrote about it in this post : Focusing on the Present
Some questions I’ve frequently pondered include the typical existential queries: What is the meaning of life? What is my purpose? What do I really want to do?
Over the years, these thoughts led me into a decline in mental fortitude without my realization, affecting my relationships. However, after much reading, deep reflection, and learning from past events, I believe I have an answer for now: “There is no definitive answer to those questions. You won’t find it by simply thinking about it. So, if you can’t find an answer, there’s no point dwelling on it. Just do what you believe is right in the moment, and tackle one thing at a time. Life will eventually guide you to the answer. Or, perhaps, the journey itself is the answer.”
Social Media
I believe I was addicted to social media but refused to admit it until it significantly impacted me.
I realized my attention was severely fragmented—I could no longer engage in prolonged deep work without feeling the urge to check my phone. My patience for reading lengthy texts dwindled, preventing me from achieving a flow state, something I prided myself on in my youth for my ability to maintain laser focus.
“Why is everyone happy?” Social media, unlike in its early days, now showcases only the best moments of people’s lives, making me feel inferior and questioning my own happiness. It also obscured the reality that everyone has their struggles.
Constantly checking my phone disrupted social interactions. I justified it by claiming these were important conversations or issues, but in reality, I was just addicted.
I wondered why, and I dove a little deeper into the science of dopamine. And from that I discovered, how social media induces dopamine changes in our body is akin of gambling.
Thus, I decided to quit social media, at least temporarily, which turned out to be one of the best decisions I’ve made recently. I found more time for everything else, as I was no longer glued to my phone. The connections I made became more genuine because I had to actively reach out.
Reading Again
I had convinced myself that I wasn’t a book reader, preferring other forms of content—definitely a fixed mindset, as described in “Mindset by Carol Dweck”. Little did I know, like any hobby, reading requires practice to enjoy fully.
Returning to reading has been incredibly beneficial. It helps me stay present, immersing me in the text and aiding in focusing on one task at a time. It’s also a way to reclaim my attention span, severely fragmented by the internet.
And, holding a physical book just looks cool, doesn’t it? :)
ChatGPT / LLM
Woah! Discovering ChatGPT is akin to harnessing vibranium. Those who know how to utilize it experience a hyper-acceleration in productivity, reminiscent of the Wakandans. It has supercharged my learning and become an indispensable part of my life.
Being in the AI field, I understand that we’ve barely scratched the surface of LLM’s potential. We are living in a truly fascinating era.
Favorite Movie of the Year
Past Lives
A movie that hits me in all angles. Tears flowed like river.
Bad Financial Year
A series of questionable financial decisions and unfortunate events made this year challenging financially. While I was prepared to lose all my savings, securing a job towards the year’s end was a saving grace. Nonetheless, it was a year that ended with almost net zero savings.
Frisbee?
The first half of the year marked my second season coaching the Zealous frisbee team. The season began with high hopes but concluded with a vibe that was slightly less than satisfactory. Upon reflection, many lessons were learned, so much that it deserves a detailed post of its own, if I will ever write one haha! One main learning is the importance of a stable personal life for effective leadership; stresses in one’s career or relationships can adversely affect one’s leadership and, by extension, the team.
Despite the challenges, it was a year filled with valuable experiences, fueling my drive to lead the national team this year.
Ending Note
Reflecting on your journey through 2023, it’s evident that it was a year of significant growth, exploration, and introspection for you. You navigated challenges with resilience, sought meaning in the present, and made conscious decisions to improve your well-being and focus. Your experiences—ranging from career changes and travels to rediscovering reading and adjusting your relationship with social media—have not only enriched your life but also shaped you into a more grounded, reflective individual. Here’s to carrying these valuable lessons forward and embracing the adventures that await in the future with the same courage and open-mindedness.
— ChatGPT, Open AI
If I were to encapsulate my year, it was a year brimming with challenges and adversity. Yet, these hurdles facilitated a rediscovery of my inner self, previously obscured by the tumult of life, enabling me to reclaim my inherent reflective nature. Embracing the fresh air of each day as a victory; with the fact that I’m still standing and writing this, I take that as a win!