Dear Tapirs,
I don’t know how to position and address you. Are you a team? Are you a project? Are you an achievement? Are you merely just a phase of life? Or perhaps, are you family?
Maybe it is all of them, or none of them. All I know is that these two years of life have been filled with excitement, doubts, warmth, disappointment, stress (a lot of it), and most importantly, fulfillment. A journey that I never expected, and one that will be remembered for many years to come.
Two years ago, NTP was formed by Bernard and Thong. They were looking for coaches to join the programme. I had just come out from a rather difficult experience coaching frisbee, and decided to give it another try. So I applied. After all, competitive ultimate was still where my heart belonged.
One of the questions asked in the application form was: what is my coaching philosophy? To be honest, I don’t remember what answer I submitted. It was probably something along the lines of — National Team is about building a team where players can shine with their strengths, instead of building a system and expecting everyone to fit in.
But I also remembered the original inspiration that made me start coaching:
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I had the opportunity to work with great leaders and experience great culture in a professional setting, where I witnessed how much a good culture can produce so many high-performing individuals. And I thought, maybe these life-changing experiences could also be applied to sports leadership, especially to the sport that I have dedicated so much to.
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For many years as a player, I often thought about what the club could offer me. Little did I think about what I could give. And because of that, I was never really satisfied. During one of those shower thoughts, I realized that perhaps, to be able to truly receive, one must first know how to give. Hence, coaching seemed like a natural way to give back to the club and the community.
These 理念 (ideals), down the road, have crystallized into important values for Tapirs which I proudly hold, but I’ll keep them for later in this letter.
Fast forward, I was selected to coach the Mixed Team. Originally, the plan was to send all three divisions to Worlds 2024 at Gold Coast. Turns out, we didn’t have enough interest to send 3 teams, and Greg decided to send the Mixed Division to the event. Unexpectedly, I had the chance to work with the best athletes of Malaysia and to build the best team Malaysia had seen up to that point.
I was overall excited and motivated to show the world how far Malaysia could go, so I gave my best, but was still ultimately very humbled by the world stage. I wrote a post about it — Worlds Ultimate Championship 2024 — One More Step Forward.
I genuinely thought we had a decent season. I heard whispers that the season and the team were bad, which was very disheartening. I do acknowledge the shortcomings of being a first-time national coach — one of them was being too optimistic, and too lenient, maybe? Nevertheless, I thought “bad” is really the wrong word to describe the season.
However, Melvin, the silent hero of Tapirs, curated this wonderful vlog from the scattered footage here and there after a year. Here’s a picture shout out! 
It highlighted all the memorable moments of the journey. It served as a stark reminder that people tend to remember the one bad moment and overlook the 10 other good moments in our lives 🤷 But yeah, I had many valuable experiences that turned out to be crucial in shaping the culture of our coming season.
Coming into 2025, I had a good 3-month rest from frisbee and was feeling quite motivated and refreshed. There were some hiccups in the roster, as half of the players dropped out from the squad (mostly because of $) and we barely had enough. Luckily, with the consideration and kind help from coaches from the other divisions, we had a good squad to begin with.
Many were skeptics, even some of our own players — Yes, talking about you, Cyrus (which is actually nice because you openly admitted it) — that this was nowhere close to the capability of the 2024 WUC roster. However, I begged to differ, as I saw us having the potential to be a better team, and so did Bernard, Sam, and Ying Ying. Maybe I was overly optimistic as I was at the beginning in 2024 — but who knows what would have happened otherwise!
I wanted to give leadership and important roles to the returning players — Bernard, Sam, Emmy, Ying Ying, Shaun, Mable, Joanne, Kristin — for sticking through with the team, and I wanted them to feel that they were part of the making of Tapirs and to feel they owned the team too. Sorry Nana! I thought you might want to focus on becoming a player more because you are still very young, so I didn’t want to put that additional responsibility on you as you also still have life ahead to figure out!
And the rest is history. We had a 9-month-long season with many ups and downs, heartwarming and heartbreaking moments — but one thing I am very grateful for is that everyone (literally everyone) stuck around to the end without giving up. With this, I can proudly say we all have built a team together that we can be proud of for many years to come.
Re: Contribution, Communication, Commitment, Unity, Trust, Empathy
I have been called out for being a softie as a coach — many times. I admit it. I AM a softie.
But I also refuse to act like someone I’m not, especially with values that don’t align with my own.
I refuse to accept that tough love is THE way to build a strong team.
I refuse to believe that playing frisbee is only transactional — because I had that mindset when starting zealous, thinking we were just here to play frisbee. And after many years, I realized that was a mistake.
So I chose the hard way, to build a culture based on the values above. To build the team in a softie way. It is hard because it takes way more time and effort (all the 1-on-1s, all the midnight chats, and all the talking sessions in training camp that Bernard secretly enjoys but never admits), and it may take ages to see results. Upon every setback — a bad training session, a bad loss in tournaments — I questioned myself: Did I make the wrong choice?
But this team, after 2 years, in the end, has shown me how far we could go without compromising these values. And for that, I am forever grateful to all of you who trusted the culture and gave me the validation I much needed too, sometimes!
The biggest and most important value that stuck with me — Contribution. It echoes my original aspiration at the start of NTP, and you all have showed the incredible power of a team when everyone is a contributor. It makes you feel that you are part of the team, you will often be able to receive more than you give (because everyone is giving), and most importantly, find happiness. Such wisdom applies to other aspects of our lives — family, friends, and relationships — and it shall be a motto that I hold dearly from here onwards in this journey called life.
In my 4 years of coaching, I’ve rarely received a gift, so this came as a really pleasant and touching surprise. Thanks Esther <3, and everyone for your kind words. Words especially are my top love language, so this made me tear up a little inside.
I intentionally kept a boundary between myself and the players, as much as I wanted to be close with everyone, just like any friend, but I thought this line was needed to not make my role as coach hard. Reading those messages from you really makes it feel worth it after all. And a very special mention for Ying Ying, who stayed supportive unconditionally all the time!
Dear Tapirs,
as much as I would yearn for the team to continue season after season, I’m not sure we can outdo ourselves as we have set a really high bar, even for ourselves to match.
Truth is, in the Malaysia Ultimate scene, it is tough to have players play together beyond 1-2 seasons. All these logistical nightmares — finding a field, fundraising for money, getting support — have really taken a toll on me and many others. And I don’t know if this can be improved in the near future.
I too have some life decisions to make and life projects to pursue. Until then, nothing can be certain. Supporting the Malaysian ultimate scene is thankless work, and I need to make sure I take good care of myself so that if I stay in Malaysia, I can do this for a long time without feeling resentment and burnout. One BIG BIG wish of mine is that we act as the vessel and conduit of the Tapirs Standards and Values, carrying that mission to spread these values across the Malaysia Ultimate scene and collectively make it a better place for everyone.
And maybe then, one day we will meet again! As long as you keep going in your ultimate journey.
Or maybe, let it be a memory that takes a small corner in your heart that you can reminisce about for many years to come.
Oh! Maybe a watch party at my place again for our vlog! (paging Melvin… 👉👈)
Lastly, and once again, I am forever grateful for this unique experience. Thank you, Tapirs.
With love,